It turns out she was having a Skype video conversation with her Uncle who lives in Boston, Massachusetts.  As I leaned in to view the screen I saw my brother-in-law and also saw myself in the bottom of the screen.  I waved and said hello and he did the same back to me.  Amazing!

I have had several opportunities to put provisions in agreement divorces or relocation case settlements that obligate one party or the other to have broadband connections to facilitate communications with the other non-custodial parent but this was my first personal experience with it in video form.  It really was a great way to communicate and was much better than a simple phone call would have been.

Alabama has no statutory obligation requiring a court to consider Skype or other forms of ”virtual visitaion.”  I am also not aware of a published opinion where this was required by a judge after a hearing.  However, with the economy being in the condition it is, causing both custodial and non-custodial parents to consider relocating to find jobs, the technology that allows this sort of communication can help improve an otherwise bad situation.  The technology has defenitely come a long way.  Video conversations are certaily no substitution for spending time with your children but they absolutely can help give the feeling that your children are not so far away.

The article offers several tips for making the holidays more enjoyable:

1. Settling things in advance avoids last-minute disappointments and anxiety.
2. If you’re splitting the holiday, make the switch at a reasonable hour. Midnight on Christmas Eve isn’t a reasonable hour.
3. If you and your ex-spouse can’t agree, consider a mediator, someone “who will help you play nicely in the sandbox.”
4. When negotiating, realize that neither side gets 100 percent. Compromise is key and “don’t use your kids as trophies.”
5. Consider setting up an alternative holiday a few days before or after Christmas. Have two celebrations.
6. Encourage your child to call the absent parent during the holiday and make sure you leave the room and give him or her some privacy when the call takes place.
7. Never badmouth your ex when the child is within earshot. Kids see themselves as half mom and half dad. Criticism of a parent breaks down their self esteem. Plus, “kids think they have to fix their parents’ emotions.”
8. Don’t grill the kids about what happened at the ex’s house. Let them volunteer information if they want to.
9. Watch out for manipulation by the kids trying to “milk” the holiday, especially as they grow older. That’s another reason why it’s important to communicate directly with your ex.
10. With older children, be sure to ask for their input. Ask them what their ideal Christmas would be then work out what is possible. The adults need to make the decisions, but the kids need to feel like they’ve got a voice.

Thanks to Ben Stevens at the South Carolina Law Blog for the tip on this article.  You can read the rest of the Bozeman Chronicle article at this link.