Archive for 'Child Custody'
A Kid’s Guide to Divorce
Posted on 05. May, 2009 by Alabama Divorce Lawyer, Michael Sherman.
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Divorce and children
Just a short note today about a nice divorce resource I found. If you have read the Alabama Family Law Blog long, you know that I care a lot about the kids of divorce. Having been one myself, I am always concerned about how my client’s divorce case is affecting their children. That is why I was excited to find this divorce resource on the web. It is an article called, A Kid’s Guide to Divorce. It is really written to the child (probably age appropriate for middle school and up). But, even if you have younger children, you and your spouse should read the article. It may give you some insight on how your children may be thinking as your family goes through divorce.
I have mentioned it here before, but frequently the children need to be reminded that the fact that mom and dad are getting a divorce, does not mean that they don’t love the kids. The article correctly puts it this way, “It’s really important for kids to know that just because parents divorce each other, they’re not divorcing their kids. Some kids think that if their parents are divorcing, it means their moms and dads will want to leave them, too.” These are the types of things you need to know go though your child’s head as you go through a divorce.
In Alabama, many of our schools offer what is called a Rainbows program. It is a divorce support program for children. I have heard a lot of good things from my divorce clients about that program. If you are facing divorce, I encourage you to see if your local school offers that or a similar program and/or to consider a therapist if your child is having difficulty adjusting to the divorce.
photo credit: Pink Sherbet Photography
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Alabama Court Overturns One Year with Mom, One Year with Dad
Posted on 03. Apr, 2009 by Alabama Divorce Lawyer, Michael Sherman.
The Alabama Court of Civil Appeals recently overturned a trial court that awarded the parties to a divorce joint physical custody of their child with the mother to exercise custody one year and the father to exercise custody the next year. The case is Headrick v. Headrick, Case No. 2030690 (Ala. Civ. App. June 17, 2005).
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Articles on Reducing Conflict in Divorce
Posted on 03. Apr, 2009 by Alabama Divorce Lawyer, Michael Sherman.
I recently came across this site that contains a number of articles on reducing conflict in divorce. They are written by Canadian social worker and counselor, Gary Direnfeld. There is a wealth of great information here, and I agree with most everything that I have read of Gary’s so far (though I’ve not yet read all of the articles). I found particulary helpful those artices dealing with keeping the children out of the divorce conflict as much as possible. I hope they are helpful to you as well.
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It is Up to Parents
Posted on 03. Apr, 2009 by Alabama Divorce Lawyer, Michael Sherman.
There is nothing worse in the area of divorce and family law than to witness the disasterous effects that a divorce can have on children. Of course, it doesn’t have to be that way. A big part of our focus is devoted to trying to reduce the pain of the divorce process by taking a more proactive, collaborative approach. This is especially important when children are involved.
With that in mind, this may be the most important blog post I ever make. I want to introduce a website I recently came across. It is free and it is called www.uptoparents.org.
This site allows parents going through a divorce to shift their focus to the well being of their children. Each parent separately reviews a list of commitments and makes a checkmark beside each one that (1) they recognize as important to their children’s protection and (2) they are ready, willing and able to observe.
After that, the site generates a list of Agreed Commitments (the ones that both parties separately agreed were important for their children and to which they were committed to observing).
This is a powerful exercise that can make a major beneficial difference in the lives of the children of divorce. By completing the exercises and making these commitments each parent shifts their focus from conflict and competition to a cooperative parenting approach – and that is what each child of divorce needs and deserves.
I sincerely hope that any parent reading this that is going through a divorce will take a look at the site. Then, if your interest is truly what is best for your children, I hope that you and your spouse will complete the exercises and make these commitments for the sake of your children.
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Create a “conflict-free zone” for children of divorce
Posted on 03. Apr, 2009 by Alabama Divorce Lawyer, Michael Sherman.
My friend and fellow family law blogger, Grant Griffiths of the Kansas Family and Divorce Lawyer, has an excellent post today from the Billings Gazette. The article address steps that parents can take to protect their children from the conflict that often arises in the context of a divorce. It should be mandatory reading for all parents involved in a divorce.
Here are a couple of my favorite tips for divorced or divorcing parents from the article:
- Treat the other parent with respect and avoid making derogatory statements about the other parent in the presence of your child.
- Avoid arguments, scenes, threats, fights and violence, especially when your kids are present.
- Reassure kids they can still count on both parents.
- Settle on a workable parenting plan that gives kids access to both parents.